What the Anxious Partner Needs vs What the Anxious Partner Communicates

In this episode of The Secure Love Podcast, Julie Menanno explores the complex communication patterns between Melissa, the anxious partner, and her husband Drew. Melissa’s deep-rooted anxieties about Drew’s desire to be social resurface, causing her to feel as though he’s choosing connections outside of their family over her and the kids. Julie guides Melissa through understanding how past moments, such as when Drew was emotionally unavailable during difficult times, have shaped her current fears and triggered a recurring negative cycle whenever Drew appears distant or seeks social time apart. As Melissa unpacks her need for Drew’s reassurance, Julie helps her identify what she truly wants to hear from him to feel secure. Through this process, Melissa realizes that in these moments, she craves Drew’s affirmation that he’s present and committed to their relationship, even when things are hard. Julie emphasizes the importance of clearly communicating these needs, allowing Drew to offer the reassurance that Melissa seeks, rather than sending mixed messages that lead to misunderstanding. Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. For weekly homework assignments visit Julie's website: The Secure Relationship Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime